i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm too high and old for this...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
