"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
