But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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