I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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