wakey wakey hands off snakey
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
