Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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