He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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