Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
