Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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