Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize