At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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