Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize