Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Randomize
