One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
23 People Confess The Lamest Things They’ve Ever Done To Fit In
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
These 27 Texts Prove Pets Make Better BFFs Than Humans
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa