I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
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JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
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Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?