Umm I'm too high to move.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
