He uses pillows to masturbate.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
