I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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