Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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