Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
