She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
