I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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