You really coming over, don't trick.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
