i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
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You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
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If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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