Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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