what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
