I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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