Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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