omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
