id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
