Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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