Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
