before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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