We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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