dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
not ubering you a puppy
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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