There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
