it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
MIDGETS
????
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
God I need to hump something, right now.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
