I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
