she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
