I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
