You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Sorry my hands just texted you
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
