they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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