There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
