Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
