they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
