hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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