Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
