question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
