The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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