update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize