Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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