In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
