if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
