been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
