some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Im part way to drunk.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
