The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize