I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
why is half of my head shaved?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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