why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Randomize
