The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
