please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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