are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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