You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
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